After the turbulent two hours plus plane ride and upon seeing where I was going to live, I began questioning my life decisions. Getting my security orientation upon arrival just added to my urgent need to just fold myself into a ball and cry.

I was overwhelmed by many different emotions. I began to appreciate my blessed living condition at home. The tropical weather is so nice even if foreigners complain it is humid. When it gets too hot, I can just go and swim in the beach or grab a surf board and paddle out into the ocean. If I wanted good food, my tita's will cook it for me or I just walk to the corner and there are many restaurants there. I do not even have to walk as there is always a mode of transportation to take me from point A to point B. I do not need to wash my clothes! There is also water from the tap, electricity, stable WIFI and everything is cheap!

The life here is very poor and very sad according to my limited human perspective. I've taught myself to look for the beauty in the faces of the children in my project, and to be grateful. I now see situations with a silver lining, and to assess where I could give something, where I could provide something as the project manager. Haay naku Catriona Gray!

So the silver linings here are the following:

• More freedom than Juba. I am allowed to walk anywhere within Renk town as long as I have a male escort. 
• I am practicing my Arabic and my colleagues helps me practice.
• Highest malnutrition rate and biggest malnutrition program in the country so my knowledge and skills in emergency malnutrition is being sharpened.
• This org found me on LinkedIn and put their trust in me. I did not apply so this is godsent.
• Coffee and tea here is delicious although the people laugh at the way I say coffee in Arabic because it is too formal.