I've always found Melanie Marquez witty and funny. I'm a great fan of her Melanie-isms.
Here are some of her quotable quotes circulating in the internet. 
  • My brother is not a girl; he’s a gentleman.
  • That’s why I’m a success, it’s because I don’t middle in other people’s lives.
  • Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book.
  • I won’t stoop down to my level.
  • Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
  • ‘Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
  • Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo…Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
  • We are lovers, not fighters.
  • Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.
  • I don’t eat meat. I’m not a carnival.
  • Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
  • Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
  • I keep my crown in the voltage.
  • Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?
  • I couldn’t care a damn!
  • What’s your next class before this?
  • Hello, my brother Joey is out of town, would you like to wait?
  • Don’t touch me not!
  • You! you’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!
  • Bakit ang dami mong tanong? You’re so questionable.
  • You can fool me once, you can fool me twice, you can fool me thrice. But you can never fool me FOUR!
  • Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko…sa mga kwento nya? Di ba kayo na-PERSUAVE ng mga kwento niya? Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae…talaga lang malapit siya sa mga gulo…PRO-ACCIDENT kasi siya eh.
  • Boy Abunda: O Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong magmo-Mormon ka na?Melanie: Ah okay lang ‘yon Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong SEMI-RETARDED.
  • They should talk behind the scene…
  • (answering the phone) Hello. Wait a moment. Please hang yourself.
  • (before Christmas) Well, I want to spend my holidays with my family most probably out of place.
  • Why I will give my calling card, I’m not a call girl. (Her reply to a certain duke when the latter is asking for her calling card.)
  • Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong taon sa inyong lahat. (During her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award.)
  • Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point. (When asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right)
  • And the base of my observation is… (showbiz stripped May 14 GMA Ch. 7)
  • At a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee, Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek’s mother (whom she partly blamed for the separation). “Oo nga,” said Melanie,“pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya.” She looked into the camera and, with the peremptoriness of royalty, said, “And to you, Mrs. Dee, I have two words for you. Ang labo mo!
  • (When asked for a message to her daughter who was allegedly abused by their houseboy) Don’t worry little angel, big angel is here.
  • (On what they should do to the houseboy who molested her daughter) He should be put behind bar.
  • (While waiting backstage during a noontime show after watching Nikki Valdez do her dance number) Nikki, you’re so galing. You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes!
  • (While she’s in Morning Girls With Kris & Korina promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick) Please watch HIRAM starring Aleck Baldwin (referring to Aleck Bovick) and myself. It’s DIRECTOR by Romy Suzara.
  • (After giving birth, and an interview on The Buzz) My answers have been prayered!
  • (To ex-flame Senator Lito Lapid) Hello…Huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh!(In response to being misunderstood) You know, huwag kang tumahol like dogs.
  • Ate Ludz: "Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?" "alam mo Ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone, you really have to istep your foot...ah, forward!"
  • Eddie Mercado: Angie Dickson has insured her legs for a million dollars, would you also do the same?" Melanie:"No, of course no, because I am proud and contented with my long-legged."
  • "A man’s success is a woman’s behind.”
  • “My husband was born on a silver spoon”
  • “It’s not my problem anymore. It’s their problem anymore.”
  • Melanie Marquez was accosted by a certain guy from a certain TV network. He shouted, “Hey *****,” upon which Melanie turned around and retorted, “Don’t you ever, ever call me…hey!”
  • “My answers have been prayered.” (After giving birth, and an interview on The Buzz )
  • “Hello…Huwag kang tumahol sa sarili mong bakuran noh! You know, huwag kang tumahol like dogs.” (On ex-flame Lito Lapid, in response to being misunderstood )

Hope this made you laugh or at least smile,

Many thanks to :
  • blogsilog


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